Always on My Mind .... 0 comments

by Elvis Presley

Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have,
Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I could have,
Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind

You were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind,

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.. satisfied

If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind

You were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind


IK
still trying to move on

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BJers' Halal Bihalal .... 0 comments

Akhirnya .... tgl 27 Oktober BJers ngadain halal bihalal di Resto Marinara ....

Penuh perjuangan juga tu ... ada yg mula2 setuju tp in the end bilang dia males krn alergi seafood ( tapi aq curiga dia males krn liat harganya Rp. 65000,- walopun itu sebenernya wajar utk resto all u can eat ) ..... dan akhirnya end up dgn bener2 ga muncul trus sms ngasi berbagai alasan :(

Ada juga yg ragu krn takut asam urat n kolesterolnya naik .... trus aq cek ternyata ada menu lain other than seafood ..... lalu dia akhirnya showed up .... dan bahkan semangat bgt makan ( Miftah n even Ira yg anak baru ampe ga tahan utk ga ngomentarin ) ..... kepiting yg katanya pantangan pun habis disikat tuh, hihiihihihi.....

Trus ada yg minta dimajuin jd jam 12 secara diana kudu balik ngantor ..... padahal aq mau zuhur dulu di rumah .... akhirnya minta Wisnu utk stand by dulu jam 12 disana .... tapi toh ternyata anak2 pada datang sekitar jam 2an juga ....

Ada yg ampe telpon aq dgn gaya still yakin mau dtg ... jam 11lewat sms blg baru bangun tp segera meluncur .... dan ampe kami pulang gada kabar tuuu .... so rude ...

Ada yg bilang mau dtg karena kangen udah lama ga ngumpul2 ... tp teteup ga muncul, as always .... di telpon kok hp na matek .... ya sut ... I have my own limit .... I won't give a damn anymore .... kalo mau dtg ya welcome .... ga ma juga gapapa ..... kayak org penting bgt ampe diharapkan gitu .... Kalo dia ga dtg kan berarti dia ga nganggap acara ini penting ... kalo gitu caranya ya udah .... I'll play ur game, my friend ....

But after all ..... I don't care at all .... aq 1000x lebih menghargai mereka yg udah ngeluangin wkt utk dtg .... terutama yg kayak Holily yg nyempetin dtg walopun cuma bentar ...

So jam 12.30 Wisnu sms aq, dia dah di marinara tp blm ada yg dtg .... Aq sampe sana jam 13.05 udah ada Wisnu, Vivi n Holily .... ga berapa lama dtg Tatiek ... truz Aga, Ira, Sugi, Liza, Iwet, Nico, Miftah, Tri, Rulli, Fuad, Siwiek, Toetoet, Maikel, Kiki, Riris, Nanang .....
We talked, laughed all the time .... so much fun .... dan foto2 pastinya ga lupa ....
Truz jam 16.35 kami bubar .... beberapa lsg pulang karena ada keperluan .... tapi ada yg mau nonton ( including me ) .... sesudah di cek kok filmnya gada yg bagus ..... ga jadi ... Akhirnya pada pulang ... tapi Aq, Siwiek n Toetoet teteup ngider dulu .... n finally we end up di Starbucks ... biasalah ... aq dgn menu favorit ... blended frapuccino ..... Jam 9 malam baru plg .... sebenernya masih pengen lbh lama lagi ... tapi Siwiek dah resah dgn angkutannya ..... ya udah, to be continued deh .....

Fiuhhh ... akhirna .... mudah2an dgn halal bihalal ini kita bisa mengubur semua yg jelek .... dan membuka lembaran baru yg lebih baik .... dalam segala hal ... Amin ...

A new day has come .....

IK

read more "BJers' Halal Bihalal ...."

To Love or Be Loved .....

Last night .... well it was midnight actually .... wkt aq lg browsing, WS sms, blg : " Barusan buka FS yaaa..... " Kaget jg, g nyangka jam segitu msh ada yg 'idup', hihihihihi .....
Lalu kami ngobrol ... ( thanks to Esia, bisa ngobrol ampe jontor, hihiihiihi... ) biasalah , chit chat ... lalu aq nanya ttg hub dia dgn KW1 ... bukan apa2 .... sbg sahabat aq ikut senang kalo dia bahagia n akhirnya menemukan tambatan hatinya ....
Mula2 WS ga mau cerita n nyuruh aq nanya sendiri to her .... tp aq males, secara aq lebih deket ma co drpd ma ce ( ya ealaahhh ... hukum tarik menarik jehh , hihihhi )

Lalu akhirnya dia cerita ... klo ma KW1 dia udah gada apa2 ..... dia blg cape digantung terus gada kejelasan .... yg ada malah sakit hati ( hellooooo .... what's goin' on here ??? ) ...
Sedangkan ada gadis lain yg sayang bgt ama dia dari dulu, sampai sekarang, mutiara yg hilang dr kehidupannya dulu ( this was exactly what he said .... so sweet ... ) dan sekarang kembali lg ( kok jd kayak lagunya Yuni Shara yaaa..).... dan dia ga mau kehilangan lagi .... jd WS memutuskan utk better bersama this pearl ..... Krn dia begitu mencintai WS ... so tdk akan sulit bagi WS utk mencintai dia juga ... drpd mencintai org lain yg blm tentu mencintai dia ....
WS sound so happy, dia berulangkali cerita bout her .... bahwa dlm pertemuan pertama mrk kembali itu dah ngomong ttg merit segala .... mrk udah sama2 cape, n setuju utk ngelupain smua ce n co ga jelas yg ada dlm kehidupan masing2 n move on together ..... Alhamdulillah, I'm really happy for U .....

Actually WS really loves KW1 ..... dia bukan tipe co yg suka flirting .... jg tdk gampang jatuh cinta ... but once he fell ... it would be deep .... Dgn KW1 dia sayang bgt .. tp ya itu, krn gada kepastian .... akhirnya he gave up ..... n kembali ke that pearl ...

Lalu aq nanya ... klo gitu apa yg menghalangi hub kamu dulu sama dia ??
Kata WS ... wkt itu kondisi mrk masing2 dah ada pacar ...
Ooo ... OK then.....

Tp yg menyentuh aq disini adalah .... WS berkali2 blg klo that pearl loves him so much, dr dulu sampai sekarang .... n it won't be hard for him to love her back ... For him it's better to be loved ... than to love, coz it hurt so much .... loving someone who doesn't even seem to care ....

God ... ini benar2 membuat aq berpikir ... could he be right ??? Which one is better, To Love or Be Loved ...???

Krn selama ini aq percaya pada yg namanya Mutual Relationship ( ga tau, bener2 ada istilah ini ato aq aja yg made it up ) ..... semuanya harus dari kedua belah pihak ... ga bisa hanya dari satu pihak aja .... So ... kalo ada satu pihak yg mencintai dgn begitu dalamnya ... sementara pihak lainnya ga ( well at least tdk dlm kadar yg sama besar ) .... is it good .... dan yg terpenting adalah ... is it FAIR ... ????

Can someone please answer this ????

But come to think of it .... I myself don't fall in love easily ..... aq bukan tipe yg suka flirting ... aq ga gampang tergoda liat fisik ato segala hal duniawi .... krn smua itu bisa hilang, baik dlm sekejap ato seiring dgn berjalannya waktu ....
Well itu bisa dibaca rincinya di another posting ( tp msh dalam btk draft so just be patient yaa ...)

Dan honestly .... kalo ada org yg really loves me n soo nice to me ... I might fall ....n love him back ... I wouldn't deny that .... coz it happened ...
So .... apakah berarti WS benar ??

Aq jd inget ama PH .... He loves me so much .... dari jaman kami kuliah .... sampai sekarang ... tadinya aq ga nyadar ( krn dulu aq cuek bgt ) .... lalu pd saat aq tau ( krn dia akhirnya ngomong sendiri ) ternyata dia sdh dlm kondisi engage ... then he got married ... but he still loves me ... then he got separated ( ada yg blg itu krn he still couldn't forget me, but it wasn't my fault coz I'm totally out of his life when he got married then separated )... n he still loves me ( duh jgn ribet bacanya yakz ... I'm writing it down as a novel.... maybe it would be published someday, hihihihihi ...... )
That's when I realized how much he loves me .... n seiring dgn berjalannya waktu ... I love him back ( yeah ... yeah ... just laugh ... )....
Mau tau kelanjutannya ??? I'm not with him .... Tanya kenapa ??? Read it on my upcoming novel ( pede abieezzzz, hihihihihihihii ........)

But the bottom line is .... it happened to me ( although no happy ending, hikss hikksss ... ) someone loves me .. so much .. and it makes me love him back .. that much .... Well in this case I think it's good n fair enough .... don't U think ???

So .. to conclude this .... maybe it's good to be together with someone who loves U so much .... As Long As ... U have commitment to love him back ... and U're willing to do it with all Ur heart ....

God, please send me someone who loves me that much again ... and I swear to love him with all my heart n soul .....

IK

read more "To Love or Be Loved ....."

Man of My Dream .... 0 comments

Ini masih lanjutan waktu ketemuan ama QQ ....

On our way home we talked, laughed n made fun of each other ... QQ masih ngeledekin ttg that Terry Stahl dlm The Return ... betapa aq terpesona ama dia ... abis keren gitu ... dah stw tp bodina msh okeh , cool, berantemna keren n sayang banget ma ce nya .... We laughed ...

Truz ga tau kenapa lalu QQ nanya, sebenernya tipe aq yg seperti apa ...??
Aq bilang *serius mode on* kalo "in the end fisik itu ga penting ..."
QQ kayaknya heran n nanya lagi, "kalo gitu yg penting apa ...??"
Aq blg : "yg penting hati ...."
QQ blg : "yeah ... well ... aq udah ga punya hati ..."
Aq jawab : "yaa ... itu masalah kamu .... tapi buat aq yg penting hati .... dia harus baik dan setia sama aq ...."

Then we talked 'bout other things ....

But that little conversation really intriguing me ...

Man of My Dream .... hmmmm ...
Mungkin orang akan nganggap aq aneh .... tapi apa yg aq blg ke QQ itu betul ... fisik tdk pernah jadi syarat utama buat aq ..... krn aq tau betul ... bahwa yg berkilau itu blm tentyu emas ....
Aq ga nyari lelaki yg cakep, ganteng, keren, kaya ( well at least dia punya penghasilan n mau berusaha ... see, I'm not hypocrite ) .... karena itu semua bisa hilang ...

Cakep, ganteng dan keren itu bisa hilang seiring dgn waktu ... akan timbul kerut2, tubuh akan melar dan tidak setegap dulu .... perut six packs berubah jd one pack ... lagian org tdk selalu berada dlm kondisi terbaiknya kan ... pada saat bete , bangun tidur atau bahkan sakit ... penampilan udah ga diperhatikan .... trus kalo pada saat itu dia keliatan jelek bgt .... apakah aq lalu akan meninggalkan dia ???
Well I think that's shallow ...

Aq juga ga selalu dlm kondisi terbaikku ... apalagi katanya wanita lbh cepat tua drpd laki2 ... Aq ga mungkin bedakan terus 24jam ... dress up terus ...
Aq ga mau org suka pada tampak luarku .... pada saat aq sakit, pucat, males dandan ... belum mandi ... which means I'm not in my best performance ... then he'll stop loving me, gitu ??? Pada saat mulai timbul kerut2 penuaan di sudut mataku ... what will he do then ??? Leave me ???

Begitu jg dgn materi .... semua cuma titipan kok ... berapapun yg kamu punya sekarang , kalo Tuhan menginginkan Dia dapat mengambilnya in an instance ... nothing left ... would that mean that I'll leave him when he broke ???

Tapi hati yg baik, penyayang dan setia ... mudah2an bisa bertahan selamanya, asal dijaga dgn baik ....
Karena aq paling ga suka berantem, ga suka dgr org marah2, bahkan dgr org ngomong dgn nada tinggi aja kepalaku udah pusing ... Aq cuma pengen hidup tenang disamping my man ... dan aq tau he'll be there for me whatever happens ... whatever it takes ... well maybe not physically always ( if he's so busy with whatever he's doing ).... but at least by heart ...

Aq pengen org yg bisa menenangkan pd saat aq crowded, memberi masukan pd saat aq bingung, mendengarkan pd saat aq berbicara, memelukku pd saat aq sedih, tempat aq menyandarkan hati n seluruh hidupku, tempat aq pulang pd saat aq lelah menghadapi dunia ini ... center of my universe ...

Dan tentu saja vice versa ... aq ingin dia juga menganggap aq pusat jagad raya nya ... tempat dia pulang ... krn aq percaya pada yg namanya Mutual Relationship , semuanya hrs dr kedua belah pihak, ga bs hanya dr satu pihak aja ....

Aq pengen org yg mengerti aq, luar dalam ... yg bahkan aq ga perlu bicara pun dia sudah tau apa yg ingin aq katakan ... just by looking in my eyes .... coz there's kind of connection that bonds our hearts ...

I used to have someone .... exactly what I've been looking for ... there's connection, the 'click' thing ... somehow I can feel him the way he always feel me ... But when I finally realized that it was him that I've been loking for, it's too late for me ...

Now that I've learned my lesson ... God please send me my man ... and I won't be that stupid again ...
He doesn't have to be perfect ... coz I ain't perfect either .... but one thing I know for sure ... we perfect each other when we're together .... So help me God ...

IK

read more "Man of My Dream ...."

The Way 0 comments

by Clay Aiken

There's somethin' 'bout the way
You look tonight
There's somethin' bout the way that
I can't take my eyes off you

There's somethin' 'bout the way
Your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that
I get nervous when you're around

And I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why

It's in the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that
I want you tonight

It's in the way that
You hold me
And the way that
You know me
And when I can't find
The right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh, feel it in the way

Somethin' 'bout how you stay on my mind
There's somethin' 'bout the way that
I whisper your name when I'm asleep, oh, girl
Maybe it's the look
You get in your eyes
Oh, baby, it's the way that
It makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feelin' stays the same

In the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that
I want you tonight (tonight)

It's in the way that
You hold me
And the way that
You know me
And when I can't find
The right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh, feel it in the way

I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is that makes me
Love you, you, baby
So don't ask me to describe
I get all choked up inside
Just thinkin' 'bout the way

It's in the way that (Oh)
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that I want you tonight (tonight)

Oh (It's in the way that)
You hold me (the way you hold me, yeah)
And the way that
You know me (the way you know me)
When I can find the right words to say (Feel it in
the)
It's in the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me (feelin')
The way-ay-ay-ay-ay ~ (feel it in the way)

There's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight
There's nothin' more to say than
I feel it in the way


IK

read more "The Way"

How Friendship Break ??? 0 comments

1. Both friends will think the other is busy

2. And will not contact, thinking it may be disturbing

... As time passes by ...

3. Both will think to let the other contact first

4. After that each will think Why should I contact first ??

5. Here's where your love will be converted to hate

6. Finally without contact the memory becomes weak

7. And they forget each other

... I don't want to be one of this kind ...

... So here I am sending this to you ...

... To say ...

... I am fine here ...

... Please keep in touch with me ...


IK
still luv u

read more "How Friendship Break ???"

I Salute You, my Friend ... 0 comments

Ini tentang a friend di BJ .... so young, umurnya baru 23thn .. if I'm not mistaken .... Dia newbie , tapi kami suka ngobrol... well that's my duty as the owner, right ???

Lalu dia cerita bout himself ... the truth yg bener2 bikin aq salut ...

He's an orphan ... his father died when he was a kid ... luckily his father left a house for rent so they still had income .... But still life wasn't easy for him ....

Lalu dia kuliah malam di BSI, Pondok Labu..... siangnya dia kerja sebagai Office Boy ... can u imagine that ??? Dan dia ga malu2 cerita itu ke aq ... jaman sekarang ... dimana gengsi adalah segalanya .... materi lebih penting daripada hati ... masih ada orang yg ga malu n menyembunyikan keadaannya ....

Anyway kakaknya yang masukin dia ke company itu ... sesudah tamat kuliah dia ngelamar lagi ke company yg sama dgn basic ijazahnya ... dia diterima sebagai operator komputer .... Tapi ini belum cukup .... kalo ngakunya ke aq sih dia orangnya workacholic, ga bisa diem ... lalu dia nyari double job ( aku ga tau apa memang ga bisa diem ato krn faktor finansial?? ).... then temennya nawarin pekerjaan di Air Asia, sebagai Tukang Cuci Pesawat ...!!!
Hellooo... what kind of job is that ???? I've never heard such thing ...

Lalu dia cerita ... tiap malam dia mulai kerja mulai jam 8 sampai jam 6 pagi ... Satu pesawat dicuci oleh 25orang .... and to make it even worse ... nyucinya bukan pake selang air seperti nyuci mobil ( itu bayangan aq pertama kali ) ... tapi pakai bahan kimia yg harus dipoleskan ke badan pesawat, senti demi senti .... ( just like polishing KIT to a car ) sambil digosok kuat2 krn debunya tebal banget ( katanya sih kalo pesawatnya bersih terbangnya lebih bagus dan lancar )... Duh bayanginnya aja aq udah cape duluan ....
And you know what ? Bayarannya cuma Rp. 40.000,- per hari ... utk kerja fisik berat selama 10 jam ... it means dia hanya dibayar Rp. 4.000,- per jam !!! Well I don't think it's a job, tapi pemerasan ...
Tapi dia hanya tahan seminggu .... karena dia jadi cape banget gada waktu istirahat ... selesai nyuci jam6 pagi, dan jam8 sudah harus masuk kantor ...
Lalu dia nanya ke aq kalo ada lowongan utk double job, dia mau ... kerja apa aja, nyuci piring juga mau .... itu katanya ...

Aq sedih banget ... ngeliat dia... masih muda banget, tapi hidupnya berat banget ... tapi begitu semangat, ga gengsian .... willing to do anything selama itu halal ....
Dan aq jadi inget temen2 yg lain ... banyak juga yg nanya kerjaan ke aq .... tapi semuanya pake syarat ... jangan jualan, jangan asuransi, jangan yg kantornya jauh dari rumah, jangan shift2an ... bla..bla..bla....
Mereka ga tau kalo mereka begitu beruntung ... dibandingkan dgn teman ini ....

Dan terus terang ... aq jadi lebih menghargai dia .... dan lebih bersyukur atas apa yg aq punya .....

From the bottom of my heart I salute you, my friend ..... and thank U ... for opening my eyes .... and seeing things more clearly now ... and being greatful for what I've been blessed with ....

IK

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I Know I'll Never Love This Way Again 0 comments

by Whitney Houston


You looked inside my fantasies and made each one
come true
Something no one else had ever found a way to do
I've kept the mem'ries one by one, since you took me
in
And I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again
So I keep holding on before the good is gone
I know I'll never love this way again
Hold on, hold on, hold on...

A fool will loose tomorrow reaching back for
yesterday
I won't turn my head in sorrow if you should go away
I'll stand here and remember just how good it's been
And I know I'll never love this way again...

IK
i don't wanna loose my tomorrow

read more "I Know I'll Never Love This Way Again"

To Forgive and Forget .... 0 comments

Tonight my friend called, said that he tried to contact her again ( entah untuk keberapa kalinya ) ... no response at all .... then send message ... still nothing happened ...
Akhirnya he get upset ( again ), send her tough words via sms ( again ) .... saying how disappointed he was ... coz he really felt sorry for what he's said and done .... regret and ask for her forgiveness ... But her ignoring totally has made him so angry again ...

Lalu aq tanya ... kenapa kamu masih coba kontak dia ??? Coz yesterday u said that this is the end of the story ... u don't wanna see her nor hear her voice again .... So why did U do that ???

Tau jawabnya apa ??? Coz he's curious .....

Well ... OK ... curious yaa.... berarti kamu masih belum bisa ngelupain .... and it also means kamu juga belum maafin dia .... ( yap, karena as I told U .... dalam suatu kejadian tidak pernah ada satu pihak yg totally wrong dan pihak lain totally right, both of you contributed in what happened ... and that makes u have to forgive each other, bukannya hanya datang dari satu pihak saja )...

And as long as you can't forgive ... then you won't forget ...

IK

read more "To Forgive and Forget ...."

At Last ... The Truth Finally Revealed ... 0 comments

Tonight ... I had an appointment with a friend ... We agreed to meet at PS. It was raining so hard, so afraid I couldn't make it ....(but I know .. once I've made up my mind, nothing can stop it ... but God ...)tp akhirnya reda .... duh syusye bener nyari taxi ... secara aq adl. org yg punctual, ga suka telat for an appointment ...
Anyway, sampe PS jam 7.40 n he arrived at 8.20 ... Lalu kita lsg makan di foodcourt coz he's starving to death ...

Lalu dia akhirnya cerita ... and the truth finally revealed ...

Dia masuk BJ dlm kondisi sdh memiliki pasangan. Rencananya adl. nanti mereka akan pura2 ketemu di BJ lalu jadian. Well planned ... but God had a better plan ... they broke up ... everything ruined, unexpectedly ...

So here we are, sitting face to face, he confessed everything...apologized for what he's done ... said that he'd unsub if I wanted him to ...

Gosh .. I really don't know what to say ...

First of all.. I hate being cheated, in each n every other way ... I've told him that from the very first time ...
But now ... looking at him, brokenhearted ... so sad about his relationship, full of regrets .... I really don't have the heart to get angry... I can see that he's been punished , burdened by his guilty feelings ( hope I'm not mistaken ) ... I can punish him no more...
Who am I after all ??? Siapakah aq.... begitu sempurnanyakah shg aq merasa berada di posisi yg lebih tinggi dr dia ... dr siapapun ... yg memberikan aq hak utk menghukum org lain ... men-judge org lain ??? Masih ada Hakim Agung yg paling berhak , absolutely not me...
I'm only human, full of mistakes .. so how could I not forgive someone else's mistakes, if he'd apologized ???

Then I told him ... his apology has balanced his mistake ... It's true that I hate what he's done to me, but still he's gentle enough to confess (although I'm not sure if everything runs well, not ruin instead ... will he still tell me the truth n apologize ? But what the hack ... aq ga mau mengotori pikiranq dgn berbagai praduga ...)... and I appreciate him for that ... so ... apology accepted, my friend ...

Then we talked about other things... his relationship, his preparation for going abroad ... many things ... And he drove me home ...
Sampe rumah kok aq msh keingetan terus yaa ... his face, his voice n body language, his sadness n regrets ... and I just couldn't stand it, knowing that my friend, someone I really care about ... in such condition ... So I requested a song for him at cosmo, just to let him know ... that whatever happens, whatever it takes... he's still got a friend in me ...


You've Got A Friend
by: Carole King

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night


Reff:
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

::back to Reff::

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

luv u,
IK

read more "At Last ... The Truth Finally Revealed ..."

A Man Without Options 0 comments

Tonight, 07.05 p.m

XP called, while I was preparing for an appointment with a friend ...tadinya aq males bgt ngangkat, tp ga enak, krn bebrp hari seblmnya kira2 jam 09.5p.m dia telpon2 tp ga aq angkat ... lalu dia sms: mba IK, tolong angkat telponnya, I really need ur help now ...
Honestly my heart was torn in two .... pertama aq kasian n pengen call back dia but on the other hand aq tau bgt dia kayak apa ... sekali diladenin akan keterusan ....mengeluhkan hal yg sama terus ... n I won't let it happen....
Akhirnya aq sms, nanya ada apa, tp ga dibalas ...that means he's ok, I presume ... Dan dia ga telpon2 lagi sampai malam ini ....

Akhirnya aq angkat telponnya, takut kalo dia kenapa2 ... Mula2 dia nanya ttg Siwiek, yg di milis sempet blg kalo dia buka warung sop buntut di JaCC ... Tp aq tau itu hanya basa basi .... Ternyata bener, krn lalu dia lsg ngomong gini :
Mba IK, aq minta saran dong... 'dia' masih ngejar2 aq terus, blg kalo dia ga mau sama yg lain, maunya cuma sama aq aja. Dia tetep pengen kami jadian, tp dgn syarat ... aq harus tetap ngasi dia uang tiap bulan ....Lalu aq harus gimana ???

*gubraakkkssssss*
Aq udah males bgt nanggepin topik ini , tp aq msh coba sabar n berusaha tetep nasehatin dia.
Aq blg : Terserah kamu . Kalo kamu msh sayang sama dia dan bisa menerima syarat dia ... menerima keadaan ini... ya udah, terusin aja ... Tapi kalo kamu ngerasa udah ga bs lagi .... ya udah ...

Lalu dia ketawa kayak hopeless gitu, bilang kalo napasnya udah habis, dan :
Aq nyerah, aq nyerah, mba ....

Aq bingung: ... Nyerah ? Maksud kamu nyerah apa ? Aq ga ngerti ...

Lalu dia blg: Aq nyerah kalo harus terus nurutin keinginan dia. Aq udah ga punya uang lagi sama sekali, mba ... I have no more money ...

Pada saat itulah kesabaran aq habis ... aq bener2 kesal, krn aq merasa dipermainkan ... Aq kesal, dia minta pendapatku ... tp selalu punya counter utk setiap jawaban yg aq kasi... Lalu buat apa dia minta pendapat aq ?? Lagian sebenernya dia udah tau kok apa yg dia inginkan, bisa dilihat dr keluhan2nya ... Tapi tetep dia ga ngambil tindakan apa2 .... so it's just useless....

Akhirnya aq menggunakan kata2 yg cukup keras sama dia ... krn aq dah ga tau hrs gmn lg, dihalusin kok ga ngerti juga ... *sigh*

Aq bilang :
Percuma kamu minta pendapat aq. Udah berkali2... tp kamu tdk pernah ngambil keputusan ... Bukannya aq minta km utk ngikutin pendapat aq.... Aq hanya mencoba membuka mata kamu secara obyektif ... dan memberikan pilihan2... The choice is yours to make ... Tapi kamu selalu punya counter utk setiap option ... Kamu tidak berani ngambil keputusan , but u keep bothering me with the same problem ... What for ??? U know exactly what U want ... Terbukti td kamu udah blg, kamu nyerah kalo hrs begini terus ... So .. jawabannya sdh ada, kan?? Lalu apalagi ??
Aq selama ini berusaha membuka mata kamu dgn menggunakan kata2 yg sopan dan tdk menyakiti perasaan ... Tp kayaknya kamu tetap tdk mengerti ... atau tdk mau mengerti juga ... Jadi maaf bgt... aq terpaksa menggunakan kata2 yg cukup keras sekarang: XP, dia tidak cinta sama kamu !!! Dia hanya mau uang kamu !
Sorry , tapi mungkin ini yg diperlukan utk membuka mata kamu dan ngeliat kenyataan yg sebenarnya ... Karena buat apa minta pendapat, minta bantuan kalo kamu sendiri tdk mau mengambil tindakan yg nyata utk ngatasin nya ... Kamu cuma buang2 waktu .... ( dalam hati aq blg: juga buang2 waktuku )..

XP keliatan bgt kaget, I bet he never expected me to say that ... Dia blg : IK, jangan keras2 ngomongnya ...

Lalu aq minta maaf ( itu kebiasaan aq, begitu aq merasa menyesal n bersalah pasti aq lsg minta maaf, spy hatiku lega aja ) ... said that I didn't mean to be rude but it was him who forced me to do it ...
Lalu aq blg aq ga bisa lama2 coz I have another appointment ... then I hang up..
Tapi di jalan kok aq kepikiran terus n tetep ngerasa bersalah, lalu aq sms dia, minta maaf lagi ...
Dia balas: Actually I'm very surprised with IK today. But thank U for ur opinion n I'm so sorry coz I already make U become impatient person ... I'm so sorry ...

Lalu aq jwb: Ya.. sori kalo aq ternyata tdk seperti yg kamu harapkan... aq hanya manusia biasa, dgn semua keterbatasan ... yg pasti aq tdk pernah berpura2 hanya utk menyenangkan org lain .... This is me, the way I am ...

Kejadian ini membuat aq berpikir ...
Bagaimana bisa seorg laki2 begitu lemah dan tdk punya pendirian ??? Membiarkan dirinya diperalat oleh seorg perempuan , mengorbankan materi yg dia punya .... for Love ??? I don't think so .... Krn menurut XP mrk blm pernah ketemu ... Hellooo ... how absurd is that ??? Even as a woman, aq bertanya2 apa yg sdh dia dpt dr cewe itu shg rela memberikan uang dlm jumlah yg cukup besar ??? Nothing, he said ... Well , Bullshit, I'd say ... After all There's No Such Thing as Free Lunch ...
Even if he does love her, aq ragu kalo the feeling's mutual ... Udah jelas bgt, she's chasing nothing but his money !! Only a fool would let anyone do that ...
Dan cinta yg dtg hanya dr 1 pihak, apalagi ditambah dgn persyaratan materi ... seems so horrible to me ... that's not a relationship ... that's blackmailing ...

Tdk ada yg bs dilakukan, krn cuma dia yg bisa membebaskan dirinya dr situasi ini.... Tp seblm itu dia hrs membebaskan pikirannya dulu.. dr apapun yg udah dimasukin cewe itu ke pikirannya shg mindset nya menjd terpola utk menuruti semua keinginan cewe itu ....

Aq ga tau apa yg mendasari ini semua shg XP menjd terlalu lemah utk membebaskan dirinya... Tp dia pernah cerita, cewe itu kalo lg marah krn permintaannya ga dipenuhi, suka blg:
kamu itu jelek, gendut ... kalo bukan aq ga bakal ada cewe yg mau sama kamu ...

Well ... that rings the bell ... Could it be possibly a matter of Lack of Self Confidence ?? Because of unfortunate physical appearance??? Shg walopun XP terbebani dgn relationship itu dia tdk bs melepaskan diri, krn takut ga akan ada lg cewe yg mau sama dia ... persis seperti apa yg telah berkali2 diucapkan cewe itu ... Could it be the reason why he hang on to her ??? Coz he feels that He Has No Options ???

If only this is true, I really pity him ... dan aq sedih bgt ... How could he let anyone do this to him ??? Destroying his pride, his confidence, his soul ..???
Knp org selalu berpikir kalo fisik adalah no 1 ??? Sehingga krn dia merasa tdk menarik, maka he only deserve what's left for him ??? This is not fair at all... But I know .. that life is not always fair ...

Satu hal yg aq pelajari dari semua ini ...
Don't ever underestimate or look down on others, baik dgn perkataan atau perbuatan .. bagaimanapun keadaan dia ... krn kamu ga akan pernah tau... apa dampaknya bagi dia dan kehidupannya ....

And God ... please protect me from such person ...

IK

read more "A Man Without Options"

Unconditional Love and Positive Regards 0 comments

Sometimes temen2 curhat ke aq, bout their relationships ... so many problems ... so many egos ... so many arguments ...

And these made me think about What's the Real Meaning of Relationship ...

In the beginning of a relationship everything is wonderful ... U can feel love everywhere ... Everything regarding ur loved one makes u smile ...

As time goes by ... hal2 yg tadinya indah menjadi berkurang maknanya ... mungkin krn kamu sudah begitu mengenal pasangan kamu ... sehingga U just take it for granted ... apapun yg dia lakukan ... nothing special anymore ...
Coz they forgot that love is just like a seed ... U have to cherish it, shower n take good care of it .. so it will bloom beautifully .... instead of dying ..
But if U think that once U had love then your job is done ... hoping the love will stay forever .... that's when your world falls apart ...

Ada satu hal lagi yg aku pelajari dari teman2 ... Mostly apa yg terjadi adalah ..
I Love You BUT ....
instead of
I Love You Because ...

This means ... mostly you do love someone, but with so many expectations ... you expect him/her to do whatever you want, to always be there for you, and the most important thing is ... to change for you ...

And this really makes me sad ... I've seen so many relationships broke only because of this simple BUT ...
Pada saat pasangan kamu kekeuh pada pendiriannya, tidak mau mengikuti keinginan kamu ( for some reasons which is terlalu panjang untuk diungkap disini, coz it's gonna take a whole new chapter ).... it makes u so upset ... have quarrel .... both saying so many things better unspoken coz you're gonna regret it later ...
But the damage is done ... and nothing you can do to make it up ....

So many love stories I've heard ... so many heartbrokens I've seen ... and it scared me ...
God please keep me away from such things ...

Coz I believe in Unconditional Love and Positive Regard ... Cinta dan Penerimaan tak Bersyarat ...
When I love someone, I just take him the way he is ... nothing more and nothing less ... he doesn't have to be perfect .... coz together we make it perfect .....

IK

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Just The Way You Are ... 0 comments

Wednesday night ...

Tadi siang a friend called me.... dia lg crowded bgt n needed to talk to me ..... Helloooo ..... what on earth could possibly make a man so ruined like that ???
Tadinya dia ga bs ngomong apa2.... then he calmed down... sampai akhirnya dia nyeritain apa yg mbebanin dia ....

Then the story revealed ...

He used to have a relationship with this girl.... he loved her so much .... But this girl seemed not to care bout simple things like : let him know what she was doing, where she were...etc...
He didn't expect her to call him 3times a day .... just a simple sms, to let him know ....
But the girl didn't do it, maybe coz she thought it's not a big deal ... but for my friend it was ...
It happened again n again ... she still didn't care .... they often argue bout this .... then one day they had a big fight, n broke up ... he's the one who took the final decision, coz he knew there's nothing he could do bout this ...

As time goes by, he still keep in touch with her ... well actually he's the one who call first ... most of the time ... this was what he told me lhoooo ... :)

Until today, he called her on the cell phone, n got rejected...7times ... n it broke his heart, he felt rejected, that he's loosing her ... he felt that she rejected him without any specific reasons ...

He asked for my opinion , n what to do ...

Then I told him ...

When u have a relationship ... it would be for good ....
Semua orang punya kekurangan, tapi ada yg bs ditoleransi dan ada yg tidak ... So u have to think it over n over again .... bisakah kamu menerima kekurangan dia ... we're not talking bout 1-2 years here, but for a lifetime ...
Can u deal with it ??? Kalo itu tdk mengganggu kamu ... go ahead, fight for it ....
But if u can't stand it anymore .... then u'd better do something, coz this kind of relationship wouldn't go anywhere ... u're just wasting ur time, n hurting each other ... so what ???
Kalau dr awal sdh ada perbedaan prinsip, dan tidak ada titik temunya... no matter how hard u've tried .... then just let it go .... it's not worth it ...
Krn aq percaya pd apa yg namanya Mutual Relationship .... semuanya hrs datang dari kedua belah pihak ... tdk bs hanya satu pihak saja yg terus2an berusaha ... hrs ada niat baik, kerjasama n komunikasi antara both of u .... as a couple ...

I'm not trying to judge anyone here ... I just speak out my opinion, my feelings bout this kind of situation .... sbg pihak luar I can see it clearly, no subjectivity here ... Hopefully u can see it clearly now too, my friend ...

One thing I know for sure ... when u love someone .. don't ever try to change him / her .... useless ... coz the change won't come from the heart ... Jika dia berubah hanya krn kamu memintanya ... dia akan berubah, sure ... but it won't take long ... krn dia akan kembali ke sifat asalnya ... knp ??? Krn dia berubah bukan krn ingin ... but because u ask him/her to ... n he/she'll do it ... just to please u ... tp sampai kapan ???

Aq jd inget laguna Billy Joel ... the lyrics go this way :

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are


God ... I wish someday .... I'll find someone who loves me just the way I am .....

IK

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KopDar 3 - From Mekarsari with Love ... 0 comments

Dear BJers...

Baru banguuuun ney...cape ye bo'...
ck ck ck...kenang2an dr Mekarsari utkku ialah telapak tangan yg membengkak and paha yg membiru (br kerasa td malem pas duduk di bangku kayu di sebuah resto) but it was so much fun at Mekarsari...

Owkey...buat yg gak ikut...here's a little scoop of what happened...

Kita sampe lbh cpt dr perkiraan foto2 sebentar and ngurus registration...yg mengejutkan adl... tampilan spanduk kita yg ternyata berwarna dengan bergambar hati berwarna pink...(krn pembicaraan dg Pihak Mekarsari adalah tidak bisa berwarna dan hanya berupa tulisan, tanpa gambar) ...without any doubt dirikyu (hehehe...) dg ibu Mod langsung minta Mr. Wisnu utk take pictures...di spanduk ^_^
trus BJers yg lain bergabung and foto bareng lg... (gosh, I juz love having my pictures taken ^_^)

And then kt naik kereta keliling... (okay...ladies...yg gak ikut...siap2 mulai mupenk...)
Fiuh...aduch bow...TL kita itu...ck ck ck...cuakep, luthu banget... scr wkt gw telp sm pihak mekarsari, gw dah book kl bs TLnya yg lucu ^_^
TLnya bernama Fadli...selama dia guide kt melewati puun2 buah disana, jeunk Titi membuat Mas Fadli salah tingkah...hehehe...

Pas sampe di Taman Acara, first thing we did was the Low Rope Games...
Ehem...disini dibagi dua tim...Tim 1 dan Tim 2... Kita diajarin tarian Aborigin "Guli guli Ram Tam Tam" and guess what... our Ministry of Gossip was really good at doing the Aborigin Dance (kayaknya dia mo buka private lesson utk Aborigin Dance tuh...jeunk Titi mo daftar...??) and diajarin maen samurai... trus bikin Yell...
Tim 1 yg dikepalai Om Nico meremix lagu "Satu-satu aku sayang ibu" (gak tau itu idenya siapa...but, nice try dude...hehehe...) and Tim 2 yg dikepalai Mr. Wisnu meremix lagu winning theme dari "Winning Eleven" and... of course...Tim 2, which is tim gw, MENANG lomba yell...^_^
Low rope games yg pertama ialah Crazy Wheel...smua peserta time disuruh masuk ke dalam sebuah ban kain raksasa trus jalan...Tim 2 menaaaang lg...
Crocodile River ialah permainan kt yg kedua, dimana kt hrs menyebrang "sungai bayangan" yang penuh dengan "buaya bayangan" hanya dengan 5 ban... ditengah permainan tiba2 ada pemandangan menyenangkan yg menghasilkan Best Couple of the day... yaitu Om Nico dan Jeung Vivi...sdg berpelukan diatas ban...campuran antara scene Titanic and Teletubbies...anywei...di games ini... Tim 2 menaaaaaaaang lageeeeeee....^_^
Games ke-3 ialah Pony Express...tiap tim berbaris menyamping trus kaki kiri diikatkan ke kaki kanan org disebelah kita...and berjalan menyamping ngelompatin bambu...guess what...Tim 2 menang lageeee...^_^
Oia, selama kt nge-games, Titi merelakan diri utk tdk ikut games spy bs beduaan sm Mas Fadli...(he's so cute...ya kan Ti?)
so, tim 2 menang telak atas tim 1... and then we had lunch...yum yum yum...

Trus ada games tradisional jg...spt lomba bakiak, Magic Things and bola bambu... kebanyakan yg menang ini adl Tim 2 (timnya AI) ampe bosen gw serah terima hadiah ke mereka (tp lumayan siy...difoto teyuusss...hehehe)

And sampailah ke pemilihan kategori:
1. Cw tersporty --> Afi Stenia
2. Co tersporty --> Don Sule (yg menghibahkan hadiahnya ke gw n IK...)
3. Pasangan Terkompak --> sapa lg kl bukan the Titanic-Teletubbies Couple Vivi+ Om Nico
4. Peserta Ternarsis --> Iwet (hiks hiks...hrsnya hadiahnya bagi 2 sm gw...)
5. Peserta Terkalem --> Mba Deli
6. Peserta TerFriendly --> Liza
7. Peserta Paling Rajin TP2 --> Aa Fuad
8. Peserta Termalas --> Titi
9. Peserta Terheboh --> none other than Ms. Sugi yg lg sedih coz Nanang gak bs ikut...

Btw, acaranya ini gak mungkin terlaksana tanpa BJers yg udah participate (hope y'all had a great time), pihak mekarsari yg sdh berbaik hati memberikan TL superkiyut and the coolest panitia ever...hehehe...

And so it goes...
the scoop from Mekarsari...
Buat yg blm sempet ikut... no regrets guys...we'll do bunch of Kopdars again...
till then...enjoy the story ^_^ and fotonya kl udah di upload...

* by Keke Kezia *

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