I Salute You, my Friend ... 0 comments

Ini tentang a friend di BJ .... so young, umurnya baru 23thn .. if I'm not mistaken .... Dia newbie , tapi kami suka ngobrol... well that's my duty as the owner, right ???

Lalu dia cerita bout himself ... the truth yg bener2 bikin aq salut ...

He's an orphan ... his father died when he was a kid ... luckily his father left a house for rent so they still had income .... But still life wasn't easy for him ....

Lalu dia kuliah malam di BSI, Pondok Labu..... siangnya dia kerja sebagai Office Boy ... can u imagine that ??? Dan dia ga malu2 cerita itu ke aq ... jaman sekarang ... dimana gengsi adalah segalanya .... materi lebih penting daripada hati ... masih ada orang yg ga malu n menyembunyikan keadaannya ....

Anyway kakaknya yang masukin dia ke company itu ... sesudah tamat kuliah dia ngelamar lagi ke company yg sama dgn basic ijazahnya ... dia diterima sebagai operator komputer .... Tapi ini belum cukup .... kalo ngakunya ke aq sih dia orangnya workacholic, ga bisa diem ... lalu dia nyari double job ( aku ga tau apa memang ga bisa diem ato krn faktor finansial?? ).... then temennya nawarin pekerjaan di Air Asia, sebagai Tukang Cuci Pesawat ...!!!
Hellooo... what kind of job is that ???? I've never heard such thing ...

Lalu dia cerita ... tiap malam dia mulai kerja mulai jam 8 sampai jam 6 pagi ... Satu pesawat dicuci oleh 25orang .... and to make it even worse ... nyucinya bukan pake selang air seperti nyuci mobil ( itu bayangan aq pertama kali ) ... tapi pakai bahan kimia yg harus dipoleskan ke badan pesawat, senti demi senti .... ( just like polishing KIT to a car ) sambil digosok kuat2 krn debunya tebal banget ( katanya sih kalo pesawatnya bersih terbangnya lebih bagus dan lancar )... Duh bayanginnya aja aq udah cape duluan ....
And you know what ? Bayarannya cuma Rp. 40.000,- per hari ... utk kerja fisik berat selama 10 jam ... it means dia hanya dibayar Rp. 4.000,- per jam !!! Well I don't think it's a job, tapi pemerasan ...
Tapi dia hanya tahan seminggu .... karena dia jadi cape banget gada waktu istirahat ... selesai nyuci jam6 pagi, dan jam8 sudah harus masuk kantor ...
Lalu dia nanya ke aq kalo ada lowongan utk double job, dia mau ... kerja apa aja, nyuci piring juga mau .... itu katanya ...

Aq sedih banget ... ngeliat dia... masih muda banget, tapi hidupnya berat banget ... tapi begitu semangat, ga gengsian .... willing to do anything selama itu halal ....
Dan aq jadi inget temen2 yg lain ... banyak juga yg nanya kerjaan ke aq .... tapi semuanya pake syarat ... jangan jualan, jangan asuransi, jangan yg kantornya jauh dari rumah, jangan shift2an ... bla..bla..bla....
Mereka ga tau kalo mereka begitu beruntung ... dibandingkan dgn teman ini ....

Dan terus terang ... aq jadi lebih menghargai dia .... dan lebih bersyukur atas apa yg aq punya .....

From the bottom of my heart I salute you, my friend ..... and thank U ... for opening my eyes .... and seeing things more clearly now ... and being greatful for what I've been blessed with ....

IK

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I Know I'll Never Love This Way Again 0 comments

by Whitney Houston


You looked inside my fantasies and made each one
come true
Something no one else had ever found a way to do
I've kept the mem'ries one by one, since you took me
in
And I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again
So I keep holding on before the good is gone
I know I'll never love this way again
Hold on, hold on, hold on...

A fool will loose tomorrow reaching back for
yesterday
I won't turn my head in sorrow if you should go away
I'll stand here and remember just how good it's been
And I know I'll never love this way again...

IK
i don't wanna loose my tomorrow

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To Forgive and Forget .... 0 comments

Tonight my friend called, said that he tried to contact her again ( entah untuk keberapa kalinya ) ... no response at all .... then send message ... still nothing happened ...
Akhirnya he get upset ( again ), send her tough words via sms ( again ) .... saying how disappointed he was ... coz he really felt sorry for what he's said and done .... regret and ask for her forgiveness ... But her ignoring totally has made him so angry again ...

Lalu aq tanya ... kenapa kamu masih coba kontak dia ??? Coz yesterday u said that this is the end of the story ... u don't wanna see her nor hear her voice again .... So why did U do that ???

Tau jawabnya apa ??? Coz he's curious .....

Well ... OK ... curious yaa.... berarti kamu masih belum bisa ngelupain .... and it also means kamu juga belum maafin dia .... ( yap, karena as I told U .... dalam suatu kejadian tidak pernah ada satu pihak yg totally wrong dan pihak lain totally right, both of you contributed in what happened ... and that makes u have to forgive each other, bukannya hanya datang dari satu pihak saja )...

And as long as you can't forgive ... then you won't forget ...

IK

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At Last ... The Truth Finally Revealed ... 0 comments

Tonight ... I had an appointment with a friend ... We agreed to meet at PS. It was raining so hard, so afraid I couldn't make it ....(but I know .. once I've made up my mind, nothing can stop it ... but God ...)tp akhirnya reda .... duh syusye bener nyari taxi ... secara aq adl. org yg punctual, ga suka telat for an appointment ...
Anyway, sampe PS jam 7.40 n he arrived at 8.20 ... Lalu kita lsg makan di foodcourt coz he's starving to death ...

Lalu dia akhirnya cerita ... and the truth finally revealed ...

Dia masuk BJ dlm kondisi sdh memiliki pasangan. Rencananya adl. nanti mereka akan pura2 ketemu di BJ lalu jadian. Well planned ... but God had a better plan ... they broke up ... everything ruined, unexpectedly ...

So here we are, sitting face to face, he confessed everything...apologized for what he's done ... said that he'd unsub if I wanted him to ...

Gosh .. I really don't know what to say ...

First of all.. I hate being cheated, in each n every other way ... I've told him that from the very first time ...
But now ... looking at him, brokenhearted ... so sad about his relationship, full of regrets .... I really don't have the heart to get angry... I can see that he's been punished , burdened by his guilty feelings ( hope I'm not mistaken ) ... I can punish him no more...
Who am I after all ??? Siapakah aq.... begitu sempurnanyakah shg aq merasa berada di posisi yg lebih tinggi dr dia ... dr siapapun ... yg memberikan aq hak utk menghukum org lain ... men-judge org lain ??? Masih ada Hakim Agung yg paling berhak , absolutely not me...
I'm only human, full of mistakes .. so how could I not forgive someone else's mistakes, if he'd apologized ???

Then I told him ... his apology has balanced his mistake ... It's true that I hate what he's done to me, but still he's gentle enough to confess (although I'm not sure if everything runs well, not ruin instead ... will he still tell me the truth n apologize ? But what the hack ... aq ga mau mengotori pikiranq dgn berbagai praduga ...)... and I appreciate him for that ... so ... apology accepted, my friend ...

Then we talked about other things... his relationship, his preparation for going abroad ... many things ... And he drove me home ...
Sampe rumah kok aq msh keingetan terus yaa ... his face, his voice n body language, his sadness n regrets ... and I just couldn't stand it, knowing that my friend, someone I really care about ... in such condition ... So I requested a song for him at cosmo, just to let him know ... that whatever happens, whatever it takes... he's still got a friend in me ...


You've Got A Friend
by: Carole King

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night


Reff:
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

::back to Reff::

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

luv u,
IK

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A Man Without Options 0 comments

Tonight, 07.05 p.m

XP called, while I was preparing for an appointment with a friend ...tadinya aq males bgt ngangkat, tp ga enak, krn bebrp hari seblmnya kira2 jam 09.5p.m dia telpon2 tp ga aq angkat ... lalu dia sms: mba IK, tolong angkat telponnya, I really need ur help now ...
Honestly my heart was torn in two .... pertama aq kasian n pengen call back dia but on the other hand aq tau bgt dia kayak apa ... sekali diladenin akan keterusan ....mengeluhkan hal yg sama terus ... n I won't let it happen....
Akhirnya aq sms, nanya ada apa, tp ga dibalas ...that means he's ok, I presume ... Dan dia ga telpon2 lagi sampai malam ini ....

Akhirnya aq angkat telponnya, takut kalo dia kenapa2 ... Mula2 dia nanya ttg Siwiek, yg di milis sempet blg kalo dia buka warung sop buntut di JaCC ... Tp aq tau itu hanya basa basi .... Ternyata bener, krn lalu dia lsg ngomong gini :
Mba IK, aq minta saran dong... 'dia' masih ngejar2 aq terus, blg kalo dia ga mau sama yg lain, maunya cuma sama aq aja. Dia tetep pengen kami jadian, tp dgn syarat ... aq harus tetap ngasi dia uang tiap bulan ....Lalu aq harus gimana ???

*gubraakkkssssss*
Aq udah males bgt nanggepin topik ini , tp aq msh coba sabar n berusaha tetep nasehatin dia.
Aq blg : Terserah kamu . Kalo kamu msh sayang sama dia dan bisa menerima syarat dia ... menerima keadaan ini... ya udah, terusin aja ... Tapi kalo kamu ngerasa udah ga bs lagi .... ya udah ...

Lalu dia ketawa kayak hopeless gitu, bilang kalo napasnya udah habis, dan :
Aq nyerah, aq nyerah, mba ....

Aq bingung: ... Nyerah ? Maksud kamu nyerah apa ? Aq ga ngerti ...

Lalu dia blg: Aq nyerah kalo harus terus nurutin keinginan dia. Aq udah ga punya uang lagi sama sekali, mba ... I have no more money ...

Pada saat itulah kesabaran aq habis ... aq bener2 kesal, krn aq merasa dipermainkan ... Aq kesal, dia minta pendapatku ... tp selalu punya counter utk setiap jawaban yg aq kasi... Lalu buat apa dia minta pendapat aq ?? Lagian sebenernya dia udah tau kok apa yg dia inginkan, bisa dilihat dr keluhan2nya ... Tapi tetep dia ga ngambil tindakan apa2 .... so it's just useless....

Akhirnya aq menggunakan kata2 yg cukup keras sama dia ... krn aq dah ga tau hrs gmn lg, dihalusin kok ga ngerti juga ... *sigh*

Aq bilang :
Percuma kamu minta pendapat aq. Udah berkali2... tp kamu tdk pernah ngambil keputusan ... Bukannya aq minta km utk ngikutin pendapat aq.... Aq hanya mencoba membuka mata kamu secara obyektif ... dan memberikan pilihan2... The choice is yours to make ... Tapi kamu selalu punya counter utk setiap option ... Kamu tidak berani ngambil keputusan , but u keep bothering me with the same problem ... What for ??? U know exactly what U want ... Terbukti td kamu udah blg, kamu nyerah kalo hrs begini terus ... So .. jawabannya sdh ada, kan?? Lalu apalagi ??
Aq selama ini berusaha membuka mata kamu dgn menggunakan kata2 yg sopan dan tdk menyakiti perasaan ... Tp kayaknya kamu tetap tdk mengerti ... atau tdk mau mengerti juga ... Jadi maaf bgt... aq terpaksa menggunakan kata2 yg cukup keras sekarang: XP, dia tidak cinta sama kamu !!! Dia hanya mau uang kamu !
Sorry , tapi mungkin ini yg diperlukan utk membuka mata kamu dan ngeliat kenyataan yg sebenarnya ... Karena buat apa minta pendapat, minta bantuan kalo kamu sendiri tdk mau mengambil tindakan yg nyata utk ngatasin nya ... Kamu cuma buang2 waktu .... ( dalam hati aq blg: juga buang2 waktuku )..

XP keliatan bgt kaget, I bet he never expected me to say that ... Dia blg : IK, jangan keras2 ngomongnya ...

Lalu aq minta maaf ( itu kebiasaan aq, begitu aq merasa menyesal n bersalah pasti aq lsg minta maaf, spy hatiku lega aja ) ... said that I didn't mean to be rude but it was him who forced me to do it ...
Lalu aq blg aq ga bisa lama2 coz I have another appointment ... then I hang up..
Tapi di jalan kok aq kepikiran terus n tetep ngerasa bersalah, lalu aq sms dia, minta maaf lagi ...
Dia balas: Actually I'm very surprised with IK today. But thank U for ur opinion n I'm so sorry coz I already make U become impatient person ... I'm so sorry ...

Lalu aq jwb: Ya.. sori kalo aq ternyata tdk seperti yg kamu harapkan... aq hanya manusia biasa, dgn semua keterbatasan ... yg pasti aq tdk pernah berpura2 hanya utk menyenangkan org lain .... This is me, the way I am ...

Kejadian ini membuat aq berpikir ...
Bagaimana bisa seorg laki2 begitu lemah dan tdk punya pendirian ??? Membiarkan dirinya diperalat oleh seorg perempuan , mengorbankan materi yg dia punya .... for Love ??? I don't think so .... Krn menurut XP mrk blm pernah ketemu ... Hellooo ... how absurd is that ??? Even as a woman, aq bertanya2 apa yg sdh dia dpt dr cewe itu shg rela memberikan uang dlm jumlah yg cukup besar ??? Nothing, he said ... Well , Bullshit, I'd say ... After all There's No Such Thing as Free Lunch ...
Even if he does love her, aq ragu kalo the feeling's mutual ... Udah jelas bgt, she's chasing nothing but his money !! Only a fool would let anyone do that ...
Dan cinta yg dtg hanya dr 1 pihak, apalagi ditambah dgn persyaratan materi ... seems so horrible to me ... that's not a relationship ... that's blackmailing ...

Tdk ada yg bs dilakukan, krn cuma dia yg bisa membebaskan dirinya dr situasi ini.... Tp seblm itu dia hrs membebaskan pikirannya dulu.. dr apapun yg udah dimasukin cewe itu ke pikirannya shg mindset nya menjd terpola utk menuruti semua keinginan cewe itu ....

Aq ga tau apa yg mendasari ini semua shg XP menjd terlalu lemah utk membebaskan dirinya... Tp dia pernah cerita, cewe itu kalo lg marah krn permintaannya ga dipenuhi, suka blg:
kamu itu jelek, gendut ... kalo bukan aq ga bakal ada cewe yg mau sama kamu ...

Well ... that rings the bell ... Could it be possibly a matter of Lack of Self Confidence ?? Because of unfortunate physical appearance??? Shg walopun XP terbebani dgn relationship itu dia tdk bs melepaskan diri, krn takut ga akan ada lg cewe yg mau sama dia ... persis seperti apa yg telah berkali2 diucapkan cewe itu ... Could it be the reason why he hang on to her ??? Coz he feels that He Has No Options ???

If only this is true, I really pity him ... dan aq sedih bgt ... How could he let anyone do this to him ??? Destroying his pride, his confidence, his soul ..???
Knp org selalu berpikir kalo fisik adalah no 1 ??? Sehingga krn dia merasa tdk menarik, maka he only deserve what's left for him ??? This is not fair at all... But I know .. that life is not always fair ...

Satu hal yg aq pelajari dari semua ini ...
Don't ever underestimate or look down on others, baik dgn perkataan atau perbuatan .. bagaimanapun keadaan dia ... krn kamu ga akan pernah tau... apa dampaknya bagi dia dan kehidupannya ....

And God ... please protect me from such person ...

IK

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Unconditional Love and Positive Regards 0 comments

Sometimes temen2 curhat ke aq, bout their relationships ... so many problems ... so many egos ... so many arguments ...

And these made me think about What's the Real Meaning of Relationship ...

In the beginning of a relationship everything is wonderful ... U can feel love everywhere ... Everything regarding ur loved one makes u smile ...

As time goes by ... hal2 yg tadinya indah menjadi berkurang maknanya ... mungkin krn kamu sudah begitu mengenal pasangan kamu ... sehingga U just take it for granted ... apapun yg dia lakukan ... nothing special anymore ...
Coz they forgot that love is just like a seed ... U have to cherish it, shower n take good care of it .. so it will bloom beautifully .... instead of dying ..
But if U think that once U had love then your job is done ... hoping the love will stay forever .... that's when your world falls apart ...

Ada satu hal lagi yg aku pelajari dari teman2 ... Mostly apa yg terjadi adalah ..
I Love You BUT ....
instead of
I Love You Because ...

This means ... mostly you do love someone, but with so many expectations ... you expect him/her to do whatever you want, to always be there for you, and the most important thing is ... to change for you ...

And this really makes me sad ... I've seen so many relationships broke only because of this simple BUT ...
Pada saat pasangan kamu kekeuh pada pendiriannya, tidak mau mengikuti keinginan kamu ( for some reasons which is terlalu panjang untuk diungkap disini, coz it's gonna take a whole new chapter ).... it makes u so upset ... have quarrel .... both saying so many things better unspoken coz you're gonna regret it later ...
But the damage is done ... and nothing you can do to make it up ....

So many love stories I've heard ... so many heartbrokens I've seen ... and it scared me ...
God please keep me away from such things ...

Coz I believe in Unconditional Love and Positive Regard ... Cinta dan Penerimaan tak Bersyarat ...
When I love someone, I just take him the way he is ... nothing more and nothing less ... he doesn't have to be perfect .... coz together we make it perfect .....

IK

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Just The Way You Are ... 0 comments

Wednesday night ...

Tadi siang a friend called me.... dia lg crowded bgt n needed to talk to me ..... Helloooo ..... what on earth could possibly make a man so ruined like that ???
Tadinya dia ga bs ngomong apa2.... then he calmed down... sampai akhirnya dia nyeritain apa yg mbebanin dia ....

Then the story revealed ...

He used to have a relationship with this girl.... he loved her so much .... But this girl seemed not to care bout simple things like : let him know what she was doing, where she were...etc...
He didn't expect her to call him 3times a day .... just a simple sms, to let him know ....
But the girl didn't do it, maybe coz she thought it's not a big deal ... but for my friend it was ...
It happened again n again ... she still didn't care .... they often argue bout this .... then one day they had a big fight, n broke up ... he's the one who took the final decision, coz he knew there's nothing he could do bout this ...

As time goes by, he still keep in touch with her ... well actually he's the one who call first ... most of the time ... this was what he told me lhoooo ... :)

Until today, he called her on the cell phone, n got rejected...7times ... n it broke his heart, he felt rejected, that he's loosing her ... he felt that she rejected him without any specific reasons ...

He asked for my opinion , n what to do ...

Then I told him ...

When u have a relationship ... it would be for good ....
Semua orang punya kekurangan, tapi ada yg bs ditoleransi dan ada yg tidak ... So u have to think it over n over again .... bisakah kamu menerima kekurangan dia ... we're not talking bout 1-2 years here, but for a lifetime ...
Can u deal with it ??? Kalo itu tdk mengganggu kamu ... go ahead, fight for it ....
But if u can't stand it anymore .... then u'd better do something, coz this kind of relationship wouldn't go anywhere ... u're just wasting ur time, n hurting each other ... so what ???
Kalau dr awal sdh ada perbedaan prinsip, dan tidak ada titik temunya... no matter how hard u've tried .... then just let it go .... it's not worth it ...
Krn aq percaya pd apa yg namanya Mutual Relationship .... semuanya hrs datang dari kedua belah pihak ... tdk bs hanya satu pihak saja yg terus2an berusaha ... hrs ada niat baik, kerjasama n komunikasi antara both of u .... as a couple ...

I'm not trying to judge anyone here ... I just speak out my opinion, my feelings bout this kind of situation .... sbg pihak luar I can see it clearly, no subjectivity here ... Hopefully u can see it clearly now too, my friend ...

One thing I know for sure ... when u love someone .. don't ever try to change him / her .... useless ... coz the change won't come from the heart ... Jika dia berubah hanya krn kamu memintanya ... dia akan berubah, sure ... but it won't take long ... krn dia akan kembali ke sifat asalnya ... knp ??? Krn dia berubah bukan krn ingin ... but because u ask him/her to ... n he/she'll do it ... just to please u ... tp sampai kapan ???

Aq jd inget laguna Billy Joel ... the lyrics go this way :

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are


God ... I wish someday .... I'll find someone who loves me just the way I am .....

IK

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