Amazing Calculations

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A woman has the last word in any argument.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

LONGEVITY
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

HAPPINESS
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

SHOPPING MATH
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Smart boss + smart employee = profit

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Smart man + smart woman = romance